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Do you know the five lamps… In case you’re not a Dub, or weren’t in school that day, this is not a question. Well, it’s not a question you want asked of you, and certainly not a question you want to answer. You see there is no answer or comeback that won’t land you in the same place. Whether you answer yes or no, the scathing instruction will be the same – “go hang your bollocks off them.” It’s a, sort of, polite way of telling someone ‘where to go’, especially if you don’t want to ever see them again. Sadly, for banter’s sake, (but luckily for those in the know), a lot of Dubs don’t know the age old question of the Five Lamps anymore and have taken to directly telling people ‘where to go’. Although effective in certain situations, we think it lacks the sucker punch, kick in the nuts of a proper old Dublin insult that’ll shut you up – Do you know the Five Lamps! Go hang your bollocks off them!


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